About Past Celebrations

New Year's Eve. Again.

I was just thinking back on how I've celebrated both X'mas eve and NYE the past 5 or 6 years... And it's scary how little I remember, which is probably due to the copious amounts of booze that was consumed. I thought it'd be a good idea to put whatever I do remember on my blog, before my memories fade into total oblivion... If any of you reading this have stuff you can help me add on, stuff I've missed out, I'd appreciate it? Heh... :P

X'mas Eve 2004 - For the 1st time in years, I spent the night alone, at home. The gang were at Audrey's place getting smashed (What else is new? :P), but I was in a mood and just didn't feel like heading out. PL called at the stroke of midnight to wish me Happy X'mas. I remember smiling into the phone, sending her my love and X'mas wishes before I curled back up in front of the telly. Zzz...

New Year's Eve 2004 - Started hitting the Absolut while Bra and I played "Headbandz" at my place, from around 4 in the arvo. An entire bottle later, I was all tiddly as we made our way down to Harry's at The Waterfront. The rest of the night passed in a blur... I remember giggling like a loon as I plucked streamers out of PL's hair after the countdown, trying not to cry as I read A's message and fighting with a multitude of people to get a cab home.

X'mas Eve 2003 - Major memory block. Shit shit shit... I can't recall where I was, who I was with and what the hell I was up to. Help!

New Year's Eve 2003 - 2003 must've been really screwed up, cos I don't remember anything about NYE either. Getting older sucks. Fucking A!

X'mas Eve 2002 - The gang and I were at Phuture... With Martin and Kev. (Yes. That's all my puny little brain has decided to store... Shut up!) The girls stayed over at my place I think, since we'd arranged for a room at the Westin, sorry, the Swissotel Stamford I mean, to celebrate X'mas. Boxing Day was spent back at my place playing mahjong. Hahaha... Egg nog, X'mas carols, pong pong PONG!

New Year's Eve 2002 - Errr. I think this was the year we went to Carl Cox's fiasco at Zouk. Where we ended up waiting for an hour for our drinks because the damn bar ran out of jugs. (What the fuck man?!) Or maybe that was 2001. (If it was 2001, what the hell did I do for 2002?!) To hell with it. Whenever the Carl Cox gig was, it was the 1st time in years I did a countdown stone cold sober.

X'mas Eve 2001 - NOX. Got there at 11. PL got waaaaaaaay sloshed on red wine by 1. Bra and I carried her home, which took us almost 2 hours, since the cow refused to walk and fought us off every time we tried to hoist her to her feet.

New Year's Eve 2001 - Carl Cox? Not? Where? Then? Who? Huh? *flops down onto floor looking a lost*

X'mas Eve 2000 - Samsara. (Yes, yes, crap place. I know. Shut up already! :P) I think I was tiddly at countdown but had sobered up by 2am. Probably because I knew that D was flying back from Melbourne that night and coming down to pick me up. He couldn't come back in time to do any X'mas shopping, but he'd managed to get 1 of my girlfriends to buy on his behalf a watch I'd been eyeing for ages. (Awwwww!) I haven't seen or spoken to D in ages... But I still have the watch. :P

New Year's Eve 2000 - NOX. D was in Sabah (Mountain climbing or trekking or something like that!) so I spent the night sprawled on a couch at the back of the club, tossing back tequila pops and vodka shots with Bra, S and J. Got very drunk. Don't remember much else...

X'mas Eve 1999 - Once again, I honestly can't remember what the hell I did... I'm guessing I was at Zouk though, since we didn't hang out anywhere else then.

New Year's Eve 1999 - Zouk. We got there at 10, started drinking immediately and were all smashed by 11. PL was convinced (In her very drunken state!) that the arrival of the new millenium would bring with it the end of the world. She then spent the half hour before midnight telling me that if we all died, she wanted me to know how much she loved me. At 11.58, another friend, Max, insisted that all of us light a cigarette and smoke it slowly... Just so we could say that we smoked 1 ciggie from 1 millenium to the next. Sheesh. Crazy people.

No fixed plans as yet as to what I'm going to do this year, i.e. later tonight. There was some mention last week about going to Loof, where we'll all drown in a sea of alcohol. Urgh... I'm still a little apprehensive, especially after the numerous Lychee Martinis and jugs of vodka we had at Members on X'mas eve... *barf*

Anyway, I hope the rest of you have a fantastic time, wherever you are, whomever you're with and whatever you're doing...

HAPPY 2006 PEOPLE!
(: HERE'S TO A KICK-FUCKING-ASS YEAR! :)

About The Review

An idea I got from PL's blog.

With just 2 more days to the end of 2005... With Absolutely April toddling towards its 1st "anniversary"... I thought I'd do a little "review" of what's happened in my life over the past 12 months, and give some thought as to what I hope to achieve in 2006.

2005 IN CHECK...

1) Started blogging
2) Watched Jay Chou in KL
3) Watched "Lady Salsa"
4) Thought about an old boyfriend
5) Have my cable modem die on me
6) Celebrated my 27th birthday
7) Got "Browned"
8) Received spastic messages on Friendster
9) Went to Bali
10) Played Dungeon Keeper 2 incessantly
11) Mourned the death of my PC
12) Practised self-censorship
13) Went to Hong Kong
14) Felt really angry
15) Bitched about work
16) Rebonded my hair
17) Felt really depressed
18) Had my heart broken
19) Said goodbye and meant it
20) Relived a fascination for TS2
21) Thought about quitting my job
22) Made a stupid mistake
23) Went "Jay-Mad" again
24) Got promoted
25) Got a new PC
26) Watched "Rent"
27) Found someone special
28) Got a bonus (Wooooooot!)
29) Redesigned my blog
30) Celebrated Christmas 50% sober

2006 WISHLIST...

1) Watch U2 in concert
2) Lose at least 3kg
3) Survive on less than 5 smokes a day (I'm being realistic ok!)
4) Get another tattoo
5) Botox away my damn crow feet
6) Go on an extended vacation
7) Spend more time with my mum
8) Help my brother sort out his life
9) Hang out more with my chums
10) Join "Singapore Idol" (Hahaha! NOT!)

Disclaimer: The above wistlist is not exhaustive and is subject to change (As and when it suits me to do so!) without prior notice. :P

About The Starry Night

The agency's Christmas gala this year was a very glitzy event indeed... With 2 pairs of air tickets to Paris up for grabs, everyone pretty much went all out. Except me, of course. I was as lazy a dresser as ever... Heh... :P

Who has the time to go to Paris, anyway? *sulks*


My team... Plus my favorite Art Director... :)


The Dude, in his MIB-looking suit... Looking extremely pleased to be there...


And who could blame him? We had some HOT chicks in the house...


Some very classy ones...


And a very tired-looking 1 too... :P


There were also plenty of male eye candy for the ladies...


My team again! Woooot!

About The Refresh (Part 2)

As promised. Comments? :)

p/s: Merry Christmas everyone... Happy happy holidays, yah?

About The Sunnies

Christmas came early for some... Me, specifically. :P

The Stiletto did something totally unexpected yesterday. I was at the most tedious client meeting (Ever!) when I received a message from him saying that I had a gift waiting for me in the office. Heh... As you can imagine, the anticipation of seeing what it was didn't make the meeting go any quicker. (I never understand how some people can talk so much, and say so little! Sheesh!)

Anyway... I scuttled back to the office... Threw open the front door... And gawked like an idiot at the HUGE ASS sunflowers that were practically beaming at me from my desk.

Everybody... Altogether now... Awwwwwwwww!



Damn big right??? Heh!

Ok lah... Since it brightens up my little corner of the office, all the ribbing I'm getting from the jackasses I call my colleagues is worth it. :P

About The Crab Fest

As promised, here're the photos we snapped (Using a camera phone so cut me some slack on picture quality!) of the crab we had for dinner on Sunday night. *snort*

I'm not kidding when I say that the crab was bigger than my face! Just check out its size in comparison with the packet of tissues I'm holding up...


Crab roe. A whole shell-full of it. Ick.


A mere 2 hours later... The carnage we left behind... Every last scrap gone. Were we pigs or whaaaaaaaaaaat. *bealch*

About The Shoe Label

It's been quite a while since I've carried the label of "girlfriend". I'm still not too sure how well this shoe fits, but, like most members of the female species, I'm game enough to try on most types of foot apparel. (Aside to B: Hear that? You're a stiletto! *snorts with insane laughter*)

Went to have the most amazing pepper crab at Ang Mo Kio last night... I'm still reeling from the amount we ate. The bloody thing was huuuuuuuuuuge... Mofo weighed in at 1.5kg, which is DAMN BIG ok! And we ate every scrap... Urgh... No more seafood for the next 6 months. Ok. 3 months. Urgh...

Pics of my major pigout to follow...

The agency's Christmas bash is tonight... I'm off to grab a quick catnap before I start primping. Wonder which brilliant arsewipe decided to make the event "blacktie"... I'm still debating on whether that's what I should wear. A cute lil black bow tie. And nothing else. Haaaaaaaaaa!

About 525,600 Minutes

I always find myself feeling melancholic towards the end of the year. The whole "Omfg-another-12-months-down-the-tube-and-what-the-hell-have-I-achieved" thing just hits me like a ton of bricks. It sounds so cliche but time really has flown by for me this year. 1 week blends into another so quickly... I could've sworn I just celebrated my damn 27th birthday!

Fuck. *sulks*

525,600 minutes...
525,000 moments so dear...
525,600 minutes...
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets...
In midnights, in cups of coffee...
In inches, in miles...
In laughter, in strife...
In 525,600 minutes...
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love...
Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes...
525,000 journeys to plan...
525,600 minutes...
How can you measure the life of a woman or man?
In truths that she learned...
Or in times that he cried...
In bridges he burned...
Or the way that she died.

It's time now to sing out...
Though the story never ends, let's celebrate...
Remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love...
Measure in love...
Seasons of love...
-- "Seasons Of Love"
-- OST "Rent"

About The Refresh

Oh... 1 more thing...

Something wicked this way comes...

Keep an eye on this space. :)

About Muscle Flexing

Situation:
While you're out of the office, a request comes in from your boss for you to give him a team structure org chart.

1 of your executives takes the initiative to do it up in your absence. However, instead of waiting for you to go through it, she sends it directly to your boss without telling you, copying you in on the email.

Later on, when you go through the chart she's done, you realise that she's gotten your designation wrong. Specifically? She put you at a level on par with herself, when you're actually her 1-up.

Oh... By the way, your namecards aren't ready yet but your role within the team is very clearly reflected in your email signature, together with your contact details.

Question:
What would you do? (The couple of replies that have come forth so far mostly involve a lot of muscle flexing come Monday. Sheesh.)

About Being There, Doing That

Taken from Slinky's blog... A sort of purity test, where you take away 1% for everything that you've done. Like Slinky, I won't tell you what exactly I've had to deduct points for, but leave me a note and tell me about how you guys did, ok? :P

Smoked.
Drank alcohol.
Cried when someone died.
Been drunk.
Had sex.
Been to a concert.
Given a handjob/gotten a handjob.
Given a blowjob/gotten a blowjob.
Been verbally sexually harassed.
Verbally sexually harassed somebody.
Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
Been to prom.
Cried at school.
Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
Went streaking.
Given a lap dance.
Had someone of the opposite sex in your room.
Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
Slept over at someone of the opposite sex's house.
Kissed a stranger.
Hugged a stranger.
Went scuba diving.
Driven a car.
Gotten an xray.
Hit by a car.
Had a party.
Done drugs.
Played strip poker.
Got paid to strip for someone.
Ran away from home.
Broken a bone.
Eaten sushi.
Bought porn.
Watched porn.
Made porn.
Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Been in love.
Frenched kissed.
Laughed so hard you cried.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Laughed yourself to sleep.
Stabbed yourself.
Shot a gun.
Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
Watched an animal die.
Watched a person die.
Had sex and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person present.
Pranked somebody.
Put somebody in the hospital.
Snuck into someone's room and/or your own room after being out.
Kissed somebody of the same sex.
Dressed punk.
Dressed goth.
Dressed preppy.
Been to a motocross race.
Avoided somebody.
Been stalked.
Stalked someone.
Met a celebrity.
Played an instrument.
Ridden a horse.
Cut yourself.
Bungee jumped.
Ding dong ditched somebody.
Been to a wild party.
Got caught stealing something.
Kicked a guy in the balls.
Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
Went out with your friend's crush.
Got arrested.
Been pregnant.
Babysat.
Been to another country.
Started your house on fire.
Had an encounter with a ghost.
Donated your hair to cancer patients.
Been asked out by someone that you never though you'd to be asked out by.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
Sat on your ass all day.
Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
Had a job.
Gotten cut from a sports team.
Been called a whore.
Danced like a whore.
Been mistaken for a celebrity.
Been in a car accident.
Been told you have beautiful eyes.
Been told you have beautiful hair.
Raped somebody.
Danced in the rain.
Been rejected.
Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
Punched someone/slapped someone in the face.

By the way, Slinky, this is freaky shit. 1 of your responses to your post's comments was - "You take off 1% for every thing you've done. So if you've done 63 of the things listed, your score is 37%."

Yeap. You guessed it. My score is... *drum rolls* 37%. What are the bloody odds of that?! Wah lau...

About Me Sometimes

Sometimes, I wonder why I do what I do...
Sometimes, I have the answers...
Sometimes, actually, most times, I don't...

Sometimes, I love without reason...
Sometimes, I hate with no reason at all...

Sometimes, I can't help but feel a little lost...
Sometimes, I'm not sure I ever was found...

Sometimes, I envy others...
Sometimes, I laugh because others envy me...

Sometimes, very rarely, I feel happy...
Sometimes, more often than not, I don't...

Sometimes, I think life is too short to be taken seriously...
Sometimes, I feel life lasts too long to be frivolous all the time...

Sometimes, I think I ask for too much...
Sometimes, I feel like I don't ask for enough...

Sometimes, I get way too involved...
Sometimes, I can't get past the numbness inside...

Sometimes, I wonder what it'd be like to be someone else...
Sometimes, all I want to be is me, the real me...

About The Next Rung

The transition to the "semi-new" job is taking place a lot faster than I expected. I must admit, I'm feeling a little apprehensive... Don't get me wrong. I'm excited... But it's laced with a growing case of the nerves.

Oh. Congratulate me by the way... The end of today (meaning Thursday, December 1) marks the end of my 1st official day as an Account Manager.

Somebody say hot damn! :)

About The Proverbs

Credits to E for bringing this topic up while we were having drinks at the Crazy Elephant...

Credits to B for bothering to look it up on the web and printing the damn list out for me...

I'll be nice and post a little warning up as well... Don't bother clicking through if you're some prissy, uptight schmuck. You'll either end up having an aneurysm or a heart attack.

Dirty-Proverbs.com

Side note to the gang who were at the Crazy Elephant with me: Check out the damn statistics on the page. I can't believe the number of people who've actually done some of this shit! Christ on a crutch!

Side note to EK: Good luck with the exams dude... Hopefully this provides some of the stress relief you seek... I'm not responsible, however, if it grosses you out so much, you can't study. :P

About The Brooding

Yes, it's been a long time between blog entries. I haven't had the inclination to write much, despite the numerous blog-worthy happenings around me.

My PC at home has been revived - many thanks to B, who fixed me a whole new computer (Side note to B: Happy birthday in advance boyo! *grins*) - but I seem to find my focus drawn towards the inane (like playing The Sims 2 for hours on end) instead of the profound... Not that "Absolutely April" has been chock-a-block with substance anyway. :P

Going off tangent here, but I find myself brooding quite a bit recently...

I hope that the new direction I've decided to take professionally is the right 1. I need to shake off the lethargy that has seemingly overwhelmed me in the last few months... Hopefully, a change of environment will do me good.

I hope to god I'm actually moving forward in other aspects of my life, instead of allowing myself to muck around in a self-created rut. I'm not sure yet how successful I've been in this... I'm guessing I'll find out in due time.

I hope the people around me find happiness. The kind that gives you happy wriggles in your tummy and lets you wake up every morning feeling as if you're basking in autumn sunshine. (Side note to the 2 who've just returned from their trip, especially Missdurh: I hope you guys had a bloody blast! :) I miss you babe... Life in the office just hasn't been the same without your laughter...)

Oh... And last but not least...

I hope we all get a big, FAT, bonus this year... My bank account could use a little pick-me-up...

:P

About Simple Amusements

It's amazing the stuff you hear on a day-to-day basis.

Heading for Splits-ville...
The Chick: "I don't think this is working out. I want to break up, but I'm too sleepy right now... Call you tomorrow?"
The Receiving End: "..."

Heading back to kindergarten...
Me: "If you want the brochure to be a square, the largest possible size we can fit in is 25 by 25 cm."
Client Nooby: "Ah? Can it go any bigger?"
Me: "Well, we could enlarge it to 25 by 30cm..."
Client Nooby: "Oh. Is that still a square?"
Me: "..."

Heading towards the end of patience...
Stupid cow: "I still don't understand..."
Sarky cow: "Oh my godddddddd, how the hell do you manage to put your bra and panties on in the morning??? And all by yourself too!!! It's bloody remarkable!!!"
Stupid cow: "..."

Yes, I'm trying to find a dose of amusement in the most mundane things. It's either that or stand in the middle of Beach Road and pray that I get run over by a Proton Saga.

I wanna go home. :(

About The 3rd Kind

Ok. I've heard of monosexual. I've heard of homosexual. I've heard of bisexual.

But trisexual?!

trisexual
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: pertaining to having sex with males, females, and one's self

Source: Webster's New Millennium™
Dictionary of English, Preview Edition (v 0.9.6) Copyright © 2003-2005 Lexico Publishing Group, LLC

How the fuck does one have sex with one's self?!?!?! Does masterbation count?!?!?! Call me "suaku", but I've never heard of anyone being trisexual before. Hahaha...

Hmmm... You learn something new everyday.

(Credit to M who told me about this...)

About Ghostbusting

I've never been the sort to question the presence of supernatural, neither am I arrogant enough to believe that we are alone in our existence... But this article I came across in the 28 October 2005 issue of I.S was a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit too farfetched, even for me...

Click on the image to view the article in its full size...

My favorite bits of the whole interview?

Q: How did you get started in this line of work?
A: I was cursed about 10 years ago, puking mosquitos and being tormented by spirits.

My comments: Someone should dig deeper into this guy's background... Maybe our recent dengue epidemic wasn't due to simple human negligence, eh? :P

Q: Who are your main clients?
A: My clients include engineers, managers, pilots, air stewards or stewardesses, and prostitutes from China.

My comments: Haaaaaaaaaahahaha. Apparently, in the spirit world, there is very little distinction between blue-collar workers, white-collar workers and whatever-damn-color-collar category China prostitutes fall under...

Q: What is the most memorable exorcism?
A: It has to be at a modelling agency on Marshall Road. The pet tortoises would disappear and reappear of their own accord...

My comments: Wah piang. I am sooooooooo tempted to make some TMNT joke here. Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo, Raphael... *does kungfu move* Haaaaaaaaai-yah! Did the agency have an office rat too? Turtle power would never be complete without Splinter after all... :P

A: We took photographs that revealed the face of a monkey ghost. I conducted a ritual to help the owner ask for 4D numbers and warned the ghost not to be too playful.

My comments: Uh huh. Like that's gonna work. "Here nice ghostie-wostie... You better be good or I'm gonna smack you silly with my big, fat Chinese talisman... Oh. And even though I just threatened to whoop your ass, how about helping me strike it rich?" Sheeeeeeeeesh...

Q: So what does Chairman Mao think of the current politics between Taiwan and China?
A: I do not dare ask about his personal affairs.

My comments: God! Can this guy spell S-C-H-I-Z-O-P-H-R-E-N-I-A??? And I have to ask... How the holy hell do political relations between Taiwan and China qualify as "personal affairs"?!?! *falls off chair*

Q: What are some forms of the different types of ghosts you have met?
A: I have met female ghosts mostly - they are the most vicious, especially those dressed in red.

My comments: This guy's evidently a believer of the "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" theory... :P

A: Ghosts can take the form of children and men as well.

My comments: Duh. Borrrrring... I would have been more impressed if he'd said that he'd seen a elephant ghost with 4 heads and 12 eyes, dressed in a ballet tutu, dancing the fucking Macarena on a tightrope... Or something to that extent.

Q: Do you have any advice for budding exorcists reading our magazine right now?

My comments: Budding exorcists in this day and age? Gee, that's an admirable aspiration. "Yes mum, please send me to University. I need to get a degree so that I can hound monkey ghosts into letting me strike the lottery!" :P

Oh yeah. This could be me being a bitch, but I think that the article's English is a little off the mark. Then again, what am I talking about... The whole damn article's off the mark. Hahaha... Kudos to I.S, the reporter, and our local Ghostbuster Chew Yong Zhen though... Reading this damn piece has considerably brightened up my evening. Wonder if this Chew dude has a localized version of Slimer... I've always liked Slimer. :P

About The Ka-put

Just a quick note...

My comp at home has up and died on me again so I'm not gonna be blogging much till I either...
1) Find the freaking dough to get a new comp...
2) Some kind soul decides to help me fix that fucking useless piece of junk...

Grrr... Leaving the office now... I am so bloody sick of 15-hour days.

About The CD Victory

It's been a long, bloody battle but... 15 months, 2 concerts and 7 failed attempts later, I finally got my hands on a copy of "November Chopin"! Wooot! Go Jay baby!

To be honest, I seriously thought I was gonna lose it totally when the 5th CD shop I walked into today told me they were out of stock. I mean... Commmmmmmme on... I've hit every single music store in Clementi, Beach Road and half of Orchard Road! Don't you morons at CD-RAMA and Sembawang Music have the fucking brains to stock up with more than 5 CDs a piece?!?!?! It's Jay-Goddamn-Chou we're talking about! Crikey! Common sense people!!! Jeeeeeeeesus...

Thank god for HMV. :P

*wipes spittle of chin and takes a breath to restore some semblance of sanity*

Anyway, know how they say that music soothes the savage beast? The album's on repeat and I'm starting to relax a little... Hahaha...

Still not totally over the fucking trauma of my Crap-menti Central experience though. Urgh. :P

Side note to Missduhr: New "November Chopin" wallpapers I found on Jay-Chou.net, just in case you wanna "decorate" the comp @ your new office. Haaaaaa... All 1024 x 768 in size. I've got #3 on mine already. *drooooooooool*
Wallpaper 1
Wallpaper 2
Wallpaper 3
Wallpaper 4
Wallpaper 5
Wallpaper 6
Wallpaper 7
Wallpaper 8

About "Crap-menti" Central

Can someone please remind me (If I should ever decide to move out...) to shift to a place where there's a HUGE ASS mall in the vicinity. Freaking Clementi Central sucks shit!

Why??? Oooh boy...

1) NO MUSIC SHOPS.

I walked around the whole damn "town" and the closest things I could find to a CD shop were a Video Ezy store that sold MTV DVDs and a miserable 2-table stall under a dirty awning, right smack next to a fruit vendor.

Not even bothering with the 1st option, I edged my way around a crate of watermelons, got elbowed by 2 ladies haggling over the price of durians and waved like crazy to get the stall owner's attention. He was, however, too engrossed in the Chinese porn-ish tabloid magazine draped over his lap. Finally, I spoke up, raising my voice to several decibals above the techno Christmas carols blasting out of the speaker next to me.

Me: Uncle...
Stall owner: *continues to gawk at magazine page featuring Chinese woman with big breasts*
Me: *screeches* UNNNNNNNCLE!!!
Stall owner: *looks up and blinks* Har? Ya? (Translated: What? Yes?)
Me: Do you have Jay Chou's new album?
Stall owner: Har? What new burm? You say what Jay?
Me: *bites inside of cheek in attempt not to roll eyes* 请问有没有周杰伦的新专辑?
Stall owner: Orh. 那边! (Translated: Overe there!) *points to a random spot on the table in front of me*

I edge over, trying to avoid the water dripping off the awning as well as the big murky puddles around the table. After I spend a couple of minutes searching, the idiot reaches over and throws a CD in front of me...

Stall owner: Nor! Dis one lor! (Translated: There! This one!)
Me: 嗯... 这张是他旧的专辑, 我要找的是<11月的萧邦>. (Translated: This is an older album, the 1 I'm looking for is called "November Chopin".)
Stall owner: Har? What bang?
Me: 专辑叫<11月的萧邦>! (Translated: The album is called "November Chopin"!) *curses as some fucking wanker stomps by, splashing dirty puddle water all over*
Stall owner: 噢... 没有货了... 你明天回来啦! (Translated: Oh! No more stock already... Come back tomorrow lah!)
Me: ...
Stall owner: *goes back to drooling over scantily-clad women*

2) NO DAMN TOILETRIES.

I was flat out of tampons and a shitload of other toiletries, so I made my way over to Watsons intending to stock up for both home and the office. I walked in... And promptly tripped over a loose tile on the floor. After a rather indignified attempt at righting myself, I made my way over to the sanitary pad "section"... And found myself frowning at the "huuuuuuuuuuuge" selection of products they had, stacked haphazardly on 2 shelves.

Kotex. Sofy. Laurier. Whisper. Pads. Pads. Pads. Pads. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Where the fuck was the Tampax or O.B?

Grumbling under my breath, I walked (Very carefully!) over to the cashier to ask where their tampons were stocked, only to realize that "she" was actually an old Malay man with greasy long-ish hair. Ick. No fucking way.

I looked around... The only other "option" I had was a skinny, pimply-faced Chinese dude (Where the fuck were all the women salespeople?! And why do all the guys look like they're in desperate need of a shower?!), who was busy re-stocking the deodorant shelf. Deciding that he was the lesser of 2 evils, I tiptoed my way around the baskets surrounding him and waggled my fingers in front of his oily-looking specs.

Me: Excuse me... *waggles fingers*
Oily dude: Yesh? Canhelpchu? (Translated: Yes? Can I help you?)
Me: I was just wondering where the tampons are... *smiles politely*
Oily dude: Errr.
Me: Ahmmm... You do sell tampons, right?
Oily dude: Tammmm... Ponnnns... Errr... Ahhh... Tammm... Hmmm... Use for what ah?
Me: ...
Me: *takes deep breath and struggles not to gag* Nevermind. Thank you.
Oily dude: Errr. *goes back to arranging bottles of deodorant*

Unfortunately, after about 5 minutes, I had no choice but to interrupt him again.

Me: *waggles fingers in front of oily-looking specs* I'm sorry, but do you sell talcum powder?
Oily dude: Har? What powder ah?
Me: You know... Body powder? Like Johnsons Baby Powder?
Oily dude: Orrrrrrr. No. Dunhaf. (Translated: Oh. No. Don't have.)
Me: Ok... What about Biore Pore Packs?
Oily dude: Dunhaf.
Me: Ooooook... And do you carry any brand of toothpaste besides Colgate?
Oily dude: Dunhaf.
Me: ...

I vaguely remembered that there was a Guardian Pharmacy on the other end of Clementi Central and decided to try my luck there instead... Unfortunately, all I got was a horrid sense of deja vu.

Me: Hi... Do you sell talcum powder?
Oily chick: Dunhaf.
Me: Biore Pore Packs?
Oily chick: Also dunhaf.
Me: *a little tiredly* What about toothpaste? Do you sell any other brand besides Colgate?
Oily chick: *irritated at my continuous questions* Nor!!! Corrr-gayte lor!!! (Translated: There! Colgate!)
Me: ...

3) NO BLOODY AIR CON.

Despite the sweltering heat, most of the shops had turned the air conditioning off, evidently in an attempt to cut back on their electric bills.

I walked into Watsons, Guardian Pharmacy, Video Ezy, Big Bookshop, Giordano, a VCD/DVD shop and 2 bakeries... And with the exception of the 1st 2 locations, I couldn't make myself spend more than 2 minutes inside each shop. The reason? Stuffy interiors, profuse sweating, a variety of body odours, oily-looking customers and even oilier-looking salespeople. Fucking gross...

4) NO MORE FREAKING CHICKEN.

Deciding that enough was enough, I decided to buy my dinner and head home. I'd developed a craving for chicken rice before leaving the house and I knew exactly which part of Clementi Central I wanted to buy it from.

Me to my maid as I left the house at 7pm: Don't bother cooking dinner for me, ok? I'll get my own dinner on the way back.

FYI, I don't eat breast meat and I prefer roast chicken. :P So there I was, 90 minutes later...

Me: Auntie... 烧鸡腿饭, 包的, 谢谢... (Translated: Roast chicken rice, drumstick, take away... Thank you.)
CRA (for Chicken Rice Auntie): 噢! 没有烧鸡了... (Translated: Oh! There's no more roast chicken...)
Me: 不要紧... 给我白鸡腿啦! (Translated: That's ok... I'll take white chicken drumstick.)
CRA: 嗯... 白鸡只剩鸡胸肉. (Translated: We only have breast meat left for the white chicken.)
Me: ...

*sniffs* All in all? Not a good day. After a quick cigarette at the butt ugly fountain outside McDonalds (I spent the entire 5 minutes stewing and fuming over how crappy the entire place was), I couldn't get home quick enough.

Me to my maid as I trudge in at 9pm: Hallo... I'm back. Is there anything to eat?
My maid: *indignent tone* No! I thought you said you were going to settle your own dinner? I didn't cook enough for you lah!
Me: That's ok... *sighs and plods despondantly to kitchen to make instant noodles*

30 seconds later...

Me: Ahmmm... No more noodles ah?
My maid: Oh! I think your brother ate the last pack this afternoon. I'll go down and buy some more later, ok?
Me: Ok. *forages sadly in cupboards for crackers and instant soup instead*

Brilliant way to end my day, don't you think?

2 words. Fucking A.

About The Voice

Dear April,

I hereby declare you the biggest idiot known to man. (Seeing that you work in advertising, that's saying a helluva lot!) Not only do you refuse to learn from past mistakes, you seem to revel in making the same ones over and over.

I regret to inform you that you have left me no choice but to bar you from seeking any form of sympathy for your actions. As of this moment, you may not seek the numbing effects induced by alcohol, nor may you look towards the comforting shoulders of friends. Any attempt to do so will result in severe repercussions.

To further emphasize my point, I would like to bring your attention to the word I have highlighted in blue. Kindly make an effort to commit it, its definitions and all its permutations to memory. I can only hope that it acts as a deterrant and gives you the presence of mind to do what needs to be done, should a similar situation ever arise in future.

stupid
adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est
1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse.
2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes.
3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake.

Source: Acronym Finder, © 1988-2004 Mountain Data Systems

Main Entry: stupid
Part of Speech: adjective
Definition: irresponsible
Synonyms: brainless, dazed, deficient, dense, dim, dodo, doltish, dopy, dotterel, dull, dumb, dummy, foolish, futile, gullible, half-baked, half-witted, idiotic, ill-advised, imbecilic, inane, indiscreet, insensate, irrelevant, irresponsible, laughable, loser, ludicrous, meaningless, mindless, moronic, naive, nonsensical, obtuse, pointless, puerile, rash, senseless, short-sighted, simple, simple-minded, slow, sluggish, stolid, stupefied, thick, thickheaded, trivial, unintelligent, unthinking, witless

Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1), © 2005 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC.

I trust that my point is clear, and I strongly urge you to consider the consequences should you have an urge to defy my instructions once again.

In the meantime, I remain faithfully yours,
The Little Dude That Sits On Your Right Shoulder, aka The Smart Part Of You.

About Being Morbid

Not sure why I decided to post this up... Maybe the fact that it's Halloween, and all the spooky shit on TV's got me in this warped, morbid mood. Heh.

PL, aka The Best Friend, and I had a rather unusual MSN conversation a couple of nights back.

We started off talking about the Viet chap who's been sentenced to hang later this week, after being caught carrying about 400g of heroin. (Of which we only knew about from Adrock2xander's blog entries. Read his posts here and here, or the Australian news reports on it here and here...) After puzzling a little on why local dailies hadn't deemed the death sentence of a young man newsworthy enough, we went on to a rather short debate on the death penalty, and later meandered on towards the world's most notorious serial killers.

Not exactly your typical, idle, late-night chit chat I know... :P

I've always had a somewhat macabre fascination with serial killers. I can't help but wonder how their minds work, why they feel the need to kill not just once but over and over. Here are some of the most notorious ones in history, which of course, make the most interesting reading. Details and pics taken from crimelibrary.com...

BOSTON STRANGLER - ALBERT DESALVO
Albert DeSalvo

A man described as someone who's devoted to his his family, DeSalvo is believed to have murdered at least 11 women between June 1962 and January 1964. He would enter the homes of his victims under false pretenses and sexually assault them, before strangling them with a piece of their own clothing, like a pair of stockings or a scarf. As a "farewell gift", DeSalvo would "decorate" the body by tying his choice of murder weapon around the victim's head and into a bow under the victim's chin.

Did DeSalvo really kill those women? The night before he was stabbed to death while serving a life sentence in a maximum security facility, DeSalvo had reportedly called his lawyers sounding extremely frightened. He promised to tell them who the Boston Strangler really was during their next meeting, but was murdered that very night.

(Click here to read the full case report fromcrimelibrary.com)

SON OF SAM - DAVID BERKOWITZ
David Berkowitz

A paranoid schizophrenic who initially claimed to hear demons in his head, screaming for blood of young women. Which resulted in him prowling the streets of New York in the 1970s, picking out his victims at random and shooting them in the head, face, neck or chest with a 0.44 caliber handgun. Berkowitz later confessed that the demon story was his attempt at convincing the authorities to declare him legally insane. In actual fact, he'd found the murders to be sexually arousing and would often return to the scene of the crime to relive them as he masturbated.

David Berkowitz, at his parole in 2002

Berkowitz, 52, is in the midst of serving a 365 year sentence at Sullivan Correctional Facility in Fallsburg, New York.

(Click here to read the full case report from crimelibrary.com)

THEODORE ROBERT BUNDY - TED BUNDY
A charming, attractive man who was a complete sociopath, Bundy started his killing spree in 1974 and could have been responsible for as many as over 100 murders / disappearances that stretched across the whole of the United States. Wearing a leg or arm cast, Bundy would approach young women and ask for their help. He would later bludgeon them to death with a heavy blunt object, usually a crowbar. More often than not, various forms of sexual assault, even necrophelia, were part of his "routine".

The many faces of Ted Bundy

After an attempted escape and a long drawn out court battle, during which he showed absolutely no remorse, Bundy was sentenced to death by the electric chair. His execution was carried out on 24 January, 1989.

(Click here to read the full case report from crimelibrary.com)

JACK THE RIPPER
The one that needs no introduction. The one that was never caught. The father of all serial killers...

Many believed The Ripper was a man of noble blood, 1 with a relatively sophisticated knowledge of medicine and surgery. He murdered, disemboweled, decapitated and butchered at least 6 women - all of whom were prostitutes working in the White Chapel district - in 1888.

(Click here to read the full case report from crimelibrary.com)

Gosh, this post has gone on a lot longer than I expected. Haha, I don't talk about this sort of stuff much. Tonight, like I said earlier, I'm in a weird mood. I've also learned never to mention this in front of company, unless company = friends I've known for ages. I tend to get a lot of strange, apprehensive looks otherwise. :P

Ah well. All Hallow's Eve...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

TRICK OR TREAT! :)

About The Decline

I don't know how much longer I can do this. The plan was to stick it out, ride the storm, weather the turbulence, blah blah blah. After all, what doesn't break you makes you stronger, right?

Thing is, I'm not too sure I won't break.

About The Wait

12 more days bay-beh... Woooooot!

About Hook, Line & Sinker

I hate it when I find myself in a situation I know I should avoid, but every part of me just screams "Fuck the circumstances!" and longs to plunge into it headfirst.

I reckon a fish feels this way. That's right. A fish. You know, when he sees a worm twisting around on the end of a hook. I always thought ol' scaly probably knows that a live, wriggling worm dangling right in the middle of the ocean / lake / pond / whatever is too good to be true, but he can't stop himself from chomping down on it. The next thing he knows, he's being reeled in, tossed onto the bottom of a boat, gutted and fried up for dinner.

I must admit, I'm half-tempted to absolve myself from all responsibility by laying the blame on the "bait". (Bloody freaking worm shouldn't look so damn tempting!) But as hard as I try to tell myself otherwise, I know that the final decision on whether I should allow myself to get "hooked" is mine and mine alone to make.

For chrissakes. *bangs head repeatedly on table* Be strong, April. Be smart, for once in your goddamn life!

Damn it. I'm smart. I know I'm smart. I'm fucking brilliant when I put my mind to it. But blast it to hell and back, head smart and heart smart are so not the same thing.

Sigh.

About "November Chopin"

This post is for Missdurh. I thought I'd try to translate it for you babe, since you can't read Chinese. *rolls eyes*

Info taken from the Alfa Music website. I did the translation on my own so it isn't a word-for-word thing but the main gist of the article is there. :P

引领华语流行乐坛潮流的亚洲天王周杰伦，最新国语全新专辑在歌迷的千呼万唤之下，终于确定在11月1日推出！周董的每一张专辑都力求带给歌迷耳目一新的感受，即将推出的第六张国语专辑也不例外，新专辑名为「11月的萧邦」，视觉概念也流露浓浓古典味，来到威尼斯取景拍照，照片中的周杰伦帅气逼人！而他独特的流行音乐风格也与浪漫的「水都」作了一次完美的结合！

Jay Chou, one of Asia's leading music icons, has finally confirmed that his much awaited new album will be available from 1 November 2005.

Jay's made it a point to give his fans a different style/type of music with every new release and his 6th album promises to be no different. Titled "11月的萧邦", or "November Chopin", it promises a strong flavor of a world long past, a world of yesteryear, right down to the album pictures (in which Jay looks totally gorgeous!) taken in Venice. Talk about a perfect combination - Jay's unique musical style blending in with the romantic City of Canals.

(Side note: Initially, I did a literal translation on the title and it turned out to be "November's Desolate Village". I somehow sensed I was on the wrong track... :P)

周杰伦的音乐一向给人强烈的画面感，由于新专辑中的每一首歌都充满了诗意，营造出诗境般的画面，让人联想到「钢琴诗人」萧邦，而周杰伦就像流行音乐界的诗人，「诗人」同时也是他的别名，曾署名在他自己的创作与专辑的造型，最新专辑又在11月1日推出，所以专辑名为「11月的萧邦」再贴切不过！

Jay's music has always invoked very strong mental images. The tracks found on "November's Chopin", with their poetic overtones, bring to mind the classical compositions from the famed "Piano Poet", Chopin. The only difference here is that the "poet" here refers to Jay and the music style is contemporary instead of classical. That, and the fact that this album is being released on 1 November, gave the album its name.

萧邦的浪漫才情有较深的音乐意境，当公司提出「11月的萧邦」作为专辑名称时，从小学古典钢琴的周杰伦觉得很棒！因为萧邦是他的偶像，他说：「相较于古典钢琴家李斯特注重钢琴技巧的出神入化，我的音乐比较贴近萧邦的随性浪漫。南拳妈妈的宇豪钢琴弹得很棒，他就像李斯特一样在技巧上很厉害。」回想两人在演唱会与金曲奖上互飙钢琴的情景，工作人员都觉得彷佛是萧邦与李斯特两位琴艺有别的好友一起同台演奏一样。

Jay thought that the record company's propossl to use "November Chopin" as the album's title was great. After all, he was a student of classical piano as well as a great fan of Chopin's musical style and compositions. He finds his own easy-going, romantic style of music similar to the classical legend, as compared to Nan Quan Ma Ma's Yu Hao, whose talents place more emphasise on flawless technique. In fact, many of their co-workers have likened Jay and Yu Hao's recent live collaborations to watching 2 piano greats - Chopin and Listz - performing on the same stage.

(Side note: Other articles (from varying sources) that have been translated can be found here. 15 more days baby! Woooooooot!)

About "Rent"

No, I'm not doing a re-hash of a Pet Shop Boys hit. :P

Was just wondering if anyone's interested in watching the musical which starts 22 November. Details below...

RENT
10th Anniversary Celebration Tour
Date: 22 November - 4 December 2005
Time: 8pm (Every night) & 3pm (Every Saturday and Sunday)
Venue: Kallang Theatre
Ticket prices*: $130, $108, $68 (For matinees); $148, S$118, S$78 (For evening shows)

* 10% discount for online bookings before 23 October! :)


Click to see the promotional flyer...

Click to see the seating plan...

About The Sub-Performance

Note to self: When you've hit rock bottom at work, take heart. In most cases, it can't get any worse.

Haaaaaaaaa... What a fucking load of bullshit. In my experience, when work gets really crappy, the only thing you can really count on, is it getting even crappier. And I'm talking about kick-in-the-nuts, fly-in-your-soup, punch-in-the-teeth sort of crappy.

I've recently been told that my performance at work has been, well, mediocre at best. If a lack of enthusiasm and drive translates into me (I believe the term used) "sub-performing", I admit it... I've not been giving 100% to the job. I've not been able to muster up any form of excitement towards any of the projects I've recently had to handle. The reasons for which are so numerous I barely know where to start listing them down.

In a nutshell? It boils down to 3 main issues.

1) We've had a whole slew of resignations in the past half a year - a total of 9 people resigning in the last 6 months. Which basically means more work for the rest of us. My portfolio has recently been expanded to include 2 new sets of clients, neither of which are a walk in the park to deal with. All this done without what I deem as the appropriate monetary incentives.

The result? Morale for account servicing is at an all time low. And I'm talking below-the-18-levels-of-hell kind of low.

2) The Boss has been in an extremely foul and volatile mood. We're not sure if it's because of an excessive amount of work on The Boss's plate, or if The Boss is simply becoming more bad-tempered and absent-minded as the year draws to an end. Imagine a ticking bomb with a very forgetful / irrational detonation device... Not the best illustration I know but you get the picture.

The result? We're constantly walking around on eggshells, which gets pretty exhausting when you have to do it on a daily basis.

3) Client demands and deadlines have been getting more unreasonable by the week. Bending over backwards doesn't seem to be enough anymore... We now have to be able to twist ourselves into goddamn preztels, just so the clients get whatever the hell they want, when they want. Without any form of thanks or appreciation whatsoever.

The result? A severe lack of interest in any new client creative brief that's sent across. Hell, I've gone for fucking root canals with more eagerness!

4) I have personal issues. Life outside of work hasn't been all that hot recently... It's hard to beam and bounce around in the office when it feels like you're being ripped to pieces on the inside.

So there you have it.

Me = No zest for work = Sub-performing (in a particular person's opinion at least).

I should clarify that other than a pronounced absence of enthusiasm, I've not been slipshod at my job - all my deadlines are met, all my paperwork is done, all my obligations fulfilled... Which is why the "sub-performing" statement pissed me off some. Ok. It pissed me off a lot.

As long as I deliver what I'm suppose to, when I'm suppose to, why should anything else be a fucking problem?!

Oh. And if it really bugs them, here's a simple, short-term solution. Damn red tape to hell and give me the fucking increment I deserve goddamit!

About My 7 Wonders

I've been down and out with a nasty bug for the last 4 days... My damn fever comes and goes, my body's aching like a son of a bitch, I'm half-tempted to slice my nose off just so I can breathe normally and I'll be quite happy not to have to look at another bowl of porridge for the next year or so. *grumpy face*

Anyway... Since I'm not at my best and I can't seem to write coherently, I figured now would be as good a time as any to do another 1 of these list thingamajigs. Got tagged by Zonster some time back...

7 things I plan to do before I die...
1) Sky dive
2) Tour Europe
3) Quit advertising
4) Buy my own flat
5) Visit all 7 wonders of the world
6) Suntan stark naked
7) Go for some form of plastic surgery

About #7... Screw the person who came up with the phrase "aging gracefully". I wanna look as good as I bloody can when they pop me in a coffin. To quote Joan Rivers, "Pull it up, snip it off, make another little person with it! I don't care!". ;)

7 things I can do...
1) Be happy in my own company
2) Cook
3) Control my eating habits
4) Read an entire novel in 12 hours
5) Write creatively
6) Lie and make others believe every damn thing I say
7) Polish off an entire bag of Fritos

7 celebrity crushes...
1) Dermot Mulroney
2) Angelina Jolie (I always swore I'd do her even though I'm straight!)
3) Simon Yam
4) Will Smith
5) Aaron Aziz and Vincent Ng (Whaaaaaat... They're cute! :P)

Oh man... Do I have to do this again? Heh... Read my Top 10 post instead. Take the above names as "add-ons" to my existing list...

7 current / recent books...
Oh man... This is gonna be damn embarressing, seeing that I have a not-so-secret love for trashy novels. *sheepish look as she shuffles around the room*
1) Sins of the Night - Sherrilyn Kenyon
2) Ceremony in Death - J. D. Robb
3) Genuine Lies - Nora Roberts
4) Memnoch the Devil - Anne Rice
5) Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Prince - J. K. Rowling
6) Star - Haha! I'm an "occasional" tabloid junkie!
7) Ahmmm... I can't think of anymore! Who the hell has the time to read so much anyway?!

7 favorite foods...
1) Bovril toast
2) Fresh cherries
3) Praline chocolates
4) Kway teow soup
5) Fritos / Doritos / Chachos (Go corn chips!)
6) Mangos
7) Peanut butter waffles

7 random facts about me...
1) I'm not as tough most people think.
2) I have 2 tattoos and am debating of I should get another.
3) I think I have ugly feet.
4) I can spend hours working on crossword puzzles.
5) I dress too casually for work most of the time. And I don't really care.
6) I take too many sleeping pills and painkillers.
7) I talk too much. And too loudly. :P

7 people I want to tag...
1) Missduhr
2) Pink Martiny
3) Princess Liliput
4) McBra
5) Slinky Cat
6) Soyabean Tim
7) Bee

About The Disorders

Got this from Zon's blog... Thought it was kinda interesting albeit a little off the mark. Heh...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid 26% Schizoid 42% Schizotypal 50% Antisocial 46% Borderline 26% Histrionic 62% Narcissistic 42% Avoidant 26% Dependent 38% Obsessive-Compulsive 46%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, Schizotypal - Individuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - Individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - Individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - Individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

---------------

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and Narcissistic - Individuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - Individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - Individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

---------------

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-Compulsive - Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - Individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticism.

Dependent Personality Disorder - Individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - Individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

About The Na Bei

Update on the Bangkok trip. At 7pm, our MD informs Missduhr, M and I that the 3 of us are no longer going... For reasons I cannot divulge at this point...

*trails off*

*takes a deep breath*

I'm sorry... I need a moment.

*storms over to the bed, buries head under pillow and screams till she turns a putrid shade purple*

Talk about a fucking letdown! The trip was the 1 thing I had to look forward to in the past 2 or 3 weeks. The painstaking hours spent toiling away at the office were all going to be worth it when us girls were shopping like a bunch of loons at MBK. And now... Now I...

Goddammit. I need another moment.

*drags hard on cigarette and stares morosely out the window*

Oh. And I got another job brief from my "faaaaaaaaaavorite" client today. Right on the tail of the monster job we just completed for her, which had me dealing with her 24-fucking-7 for the last 3 weeks. Uh huh. No rest for the wicked. So much for getting her out of my damn face for a while...

And the best part? It's not even mid-fucking-week. Brilliant.

I have 2 words for all of this shit.


NA BEI!

About The Training

The agency has decided to send a bunch of us to Bangkok for training. So we fly this Thursday at 6, attend the training the whole of Friday, and have Saturday and Sunday to shop, eat, club and spa. Wooot!

*watches the hours tick by* Hurry up dammit!

About The God Complex

Geez, my blog's been depressing recently, hasn't it? Ah well, I need to vent somewhere I guess... And I refuse to be 1 of those dreary depressives who do nothing but whine and moan to their friends every damn day. So... I whine here.

Today though, I figured a brief respite from the troubles of my life was in the cards. And what better way to forget about the utter lack of control I have over my own life, than to meddle around and dictate someone else's life, eh?

Welcome to me and my Sims.

I love playing God.


Meet Vixen Love. Slut of the town.

Heh. I got bored with all the happy families around and figured I'd create a Sim that would wreck as many homes as possible... At my last count, Vixen's "woohoo-ed" with at least 8 of the guys in the neighbourhood.


Not without getting into some trouble, of course. *snort* Move over Demi and Zoe!


45 minutes of game play later... Meet Raven, the latest addition to the Love family... Hah! Man, this kicks ass. I'm gonna create myself a whole damn CLAN of sluts.


Ok. Raven's not exactly pretty as a toddler, is she? Grrr... I'm hoping she gets better looking as she gets older. Maybe this whole "clan-of-sluts" plan isn't working out as well as I thought.


Ah well... At least the sluts live in a kick ass house. Gorgeous, isn't it? Ahhh... Can't help but love those "get-unlimited-money" cheat codes... :P

Ok, enough babbling and back to more life-twisting. Later!

About The Wondering

I wonder how much longer I can go on lying to myself.
I wonder if this mask is as transparent to others as it is to me.

I wonder when I'll wake up without this ache inside.
I wonder when I'll sleep without tears staining my pillow.

I wonder why I'm not moving on, the way I said I would.
I wonder if it's possible for 1 to move backwards without falling.

I wonder if you think of me at all.
I wonder why that should matter to me.

I wonder whether I'll forget you in time.
I wonder if it'll matter to you if I do.

About The Wish

Where I wanna be right now... A quiet mediterranean chalet... With its own private pool... A couple of weeping willows... And my own jazzy red sports car in the drive...

Hell. I'm not picky. I'll settle for anywhere but here.

I need a new job.

Hell. Come to think of it, I need a new life. Anyone wanna swop? :P

About Them Things

Somebody emailed me this yonks ago. I found it again recently and it still had me cracking up... Heh... Happy Friday everyone! :)

Some Important Things You Should Know

In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense!)

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Wonder which head? Hee hee!)

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the 1st time... Reason: Under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let's just think for a minute... Is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this? Even if there is, damn, I'm a woman!)

In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."

(Is the U.S a great country or what?)

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat 1 cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it...)

If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

(Omg. In my next life, I want to be a pig! A babe!)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Still not over that pig thing...)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling? And what about those pigs?!)

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of what exactly?!?!? Did the government pay for this research?!?!? Is that where my taxes have been going?!?!?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day...

(In my next life I STILL want to be a pig... Quality over quantity. Yeah!)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

(I know some people like that... Clients mostly. Hah!)

Starfish don't have brains.

(I know some people like that too... Amazing ain't it? :P)

After reading all these, all I can say is... DAMN THOSE PIGS!!!