About The Embrace

He held me as I cried.
As tears trickled down my cheeks,
I wept for all the things that couldn't be.

He held me as I cried.
As I stored each second away, hoarded each memory,
I willed for time to come to a stop.

He held me as I cried.
As much as he was hurting too,
He thought of nothing but my pain.

He held me as I cried.

About The Wait

As a by-product of 1 of the most dysfunctional families I know of... And being the cynical, jaded, realistic bitch that I am, I have never been a believer in long distance relationships. The whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder" thing was just a bunch of bullshit people who got involved in LDRs told themselves, in order to convince that their poor, pathetic little love storys stood a chance against the wear and tear of time and geography.

As I grow older, I'm forced to admit that there are instances that LDRs do work out. Rare... But hey, weird things do happen...

Not to me though.

It's been almost 10 months.

It was suppose to be 3.

3 slowly became 5.

At 5, you said it might drag out to 6.

At 6, you swore you'd be back at 7.

At 7, you stopped explaining.

I had stopped waiting long before that.

The last we spoke about this, you promised that you'd speak to the Powers That Be, to figure out what options we had open to us. That was 6 weeks ago. I've not heard you mention it since.

I know I should be fully supportive of you trying to build a career. I know you have responsibilities to fulfill. I know I shouldn't begrudge you the time you spend overseas, trying to make a living. I know the numerous delays were not within your control. However, I also know that to be together, we need to have a life together. Which goes beyond being in the same country for more than 5 days a month... What started as physical distance has long become emotional detachment, both on your part and mine. Short of demanding that you quit your job immediately, which I haven't, there's been little else I've been able to do but wait...

But...

I've never been the waiting sort. In my case, distance does not make the heart grow fonder... I seem to be more inclined towards the concept of "out of sight, out of mind".

So where does that leave us?

About The Roundabout

4th week into the new job, after a 5 month break... When I was offered the position, I couldn't think of a reason not to accept it. The client was one I was familiar with, the financial renumeration offered (That sounds so much cooler than "slave wages" or "salary", hah!) was pretty decent, and saying yes meant that I got to work with The Short One again. I figured I'd give it a shot.

At this point, I'm still debating if the decision to work on this account a 2nd time is a good one... After just 25 days, it's still too early to tell.

1 thing, however, was crystal clear from my 1st day on board. The Account Director I'm currently working with is a dick. He talks too much, and does too little. He is completely clueless about agency processes, and knows absolutely fuck-all about the client's business. He can't write a clear and concise brief, and he tries (Without success!) to pepper his speech with big words to make whatever he says sound important. He wastes hours on matters that don't require his attention, neglects issues that do, and then complains about being too swamped to cope. In short? He's incompetent, stupid, fat, self-inflating and utterly repulsive.

Breathe, April, breathe...

I take comfort in the fact that this Account Director's (Henceforth christianed "Dickhead"!) many, many shortcomings are glaringly obvious to all who work with him, including my big boss. So much easier for me and The Short One to shine when everyone has been exposed to his shit. Hah!

I wish it was Friday. :(