As I grow older, I'm forced to admit that there are instances that LDRs do work out. Rare... But hey, weird things do happen...
Not to me though.
It's been almost 10 months.
It was suppose to be 3.
3 slowly became 5.
At 5, you said it might drag out to 6.
At 6, you swore you'd be back at 7.
At 7, you stopped explaining.
I had stopped waiting long before that.
The last we spoke about this, you promised that you'd speak to the Powers That Be, to figure out what options we had open to us. That was 6 weeks ago. I've not heard you mention it since.
I know I should be fully supportive of you trying to build a career. I know you have responsibilities to fulfill. I know I shouldn't begrudge you the time you spend overseas, trying to make a living. I know the numerous delays were not within your control. However, I also know that to be together, we need to have a life together. Which goes beyond being in the same country for more than 5 days a month... What started as physical distance has long become emotional detachment, both on your part and mine. Short of demanding that you quit your job immediately, which I haven't, there's been little else I've been able to do but wait...
But...
I've never been the waiting sort. In my case, distance does not make the heart grow fonder... I seem to be more inclined towards the concept of "out of sight, out of mind".
So where does that leave us?
4 comments:
for me, skype helps. a big bank account would too for all those flights.
if you feel it's worth the wait for the long term then wait. nothing holding you back. and i think it is. you guys are great together. even though you're now apart. *hugs*
Heh, thanks for the words of encouragement babe, but I think you totally missed the point. I'm not some lonely girlfriend bemoaning how far away my boyfriend is and how much I miss him. What bothers me here is how much I don't.
Long conversations on Skype won't bridge that gap, since I can't remember the last time we've really had something to talk about. And even if, financially, we're able to double the amount of time we spend together, it doesn't detract from the fact that his life is there and mine is here. We've been operating as 2 seperate individuals so much, we've forgotten what it's like to be a couple.
cou·ple
–noun -verb, -pled, -pling.
Two persons considered as joined together, as a married or engaged pair, lovers, or dance partners
Kind of hard to be "joined together" when we hardly have anything in common anymore.
Oh... And given the situation you're in at the moment, you've got to realise that you're not exactly the most objective person on LDRs. :P
haha looks like here we go again.. the cobwebs forming, spammed tagboard, the most recent post belonging to a few months ago.
hope life's been good to you so far aiight.
As a battle-scarred veteran of LDRs (hur hur), I have this to say: a long distance relationship is loving in memory. That is, from the moment the couple parts, to the moment they reunite, they are living in memory. That is, your affections are based on events that transpired weeks, months, even years before, and not 5 minutes ago, or this morning, when he rushed to hold your hand under the faucet when you scalded yourself on hot coffee. Sure, you can Skype, ICQ, IM, ICQ, MSN Messenger, WebCam, and so on, but these are pale reflections to waking up beside your sweetie each morning; coming home to each other; dealing with nasty waiters at dinner together. While there is something romantic, even elegiac, in living, loving, in the past, each party does not see -- and grow with -- the partner during the period apart. As a result, they gradually grow away from each other -- until the next meeting.
Some couples survive this, some don't.
More tragically, when one party wills to stop growing and pines for the other (i.e. not mixing with friends, getting out, meeting people, learning new skills and hobbies) out of a misplaced sense of loyalty, while the other grows and changes; the former is often left more devastated when the relationship breaks down.
On the other hand, LDRs also afford both parties time and space to explore and develop their identities more fully. Instead of being stuck to each other like siamese twins, they can interact more closely with members of the opposite sex. I.e. since they wear the label of being "attached," the lines are more clearly drawn.
All in all, it's a crapshot, IMHO.
All the best.
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