About The AAA

Inspired by Adrock's latest post on his run-in with an Aussie tram conductor...

I could never stomach the belief that the lack of pigmentation in a person's skin also translated into a superior level of intelligence, a higher degree of sophistication and a loftier position in life. "Hey pussface! Just because I'm freaking Asian doesn't mean that I'm some backward fuckwit from Hicksville!"

Thinking back, I realise that I was quite lucky. I met the occasional AAA - "Absolute Aussie Asshole" - but my stint as a student in Melbourne was generally unmarred by the ugly stain of racism. Just as well, since the few brushes I had with racial prejudice were enough to set my blood boiling for days on end.

*frowns as she thinks back*

[AAA CASE FILE #1]...

At a bookstore along Swanston Street. A well-dressed Aussie woman caught my attention, hardly surprising since she was bitching at the top of her voice about how Melbourne was becoming overrun by "undesirables". Wanting to see whom she was referring to, I glanced around, before I realized that her eyes were trained directly on me! Honestly, I was so surprised, I had absolutely no idea how to react. God knows how long I stood there, eyes wide, and stared at her. She continued to spit venom, till the snippets I managed to register snapped me out of my daze.

I remember walking up to her on legs that weren't quite stable. There was this strange buzzing in my ears and I was so angry I could barely see straight. However, I'm proud to say that when I spoke, my voice was cold, controlled and cutting.
Her: These Vietnamese especially. They come... Gangs and fights... Uncouth, violent louts... No heritage or culture...
Me: I just thought I'd let you know that I'm Chinese. Having yellow skin doesn't automatically make me Vietnamese, just like you being Australian doesn't automatically stop you from being a stupid, racist bitch.
Her: *stunned silence*
Me: Oh. 1 more thing. While I can't lay claim to a rich and glorious heritage, at least I don't trace my ancestry back to fucking bunch of British convicts! *smirks, spins around and stalks off*

As I sailed out of the shop, I felt like a queen. Ok... A queen who was fuming mad. (If that'd been Alice in Wonderland, I'd have been screaming "Off with their heaaaaaaaaads! And aaaaall important appendages!" at the top of my voice.) Later, however, when the red haze had diminished some, I found myself semi-amused at the look on the cow's face. She probably assumed that I wouldn't understand a word she was saying... She sure as hell wasn't expecting a rebuttal. Fucking priceless. *grin*

[AAA CASE FILE #2]...

1st week of my Uni term... I was the only newbie in my PR tute. (It's not my fault that I had a diploma in Mass Communications and was therefore eligible to go straight into final year...) Anyway, being the only stranger, lil ol' me had to stand up and give a short spiel on where I was from, what kind of person I was, blah blah blah...

Me: Hi, my name is April and I'm from Singapore.
Fat Chick: Sing what? Huh? Where's that?
Me: *attempting a good-natured grin* Oh, it's a little island that's just south of Malaysia.
Pimply Dude: Really? *blinks owlishly* I thought it was somewhere in China...
Me: I... Errr... Well, it's not... It's... Errr... *mentally rolling eyes* A little island that's just south of Malaysia.
Pimply Dude: *shrugs* The name sounds like it's somewhere in China...
Hair Lip Chick: I think China would be a fascinating place to visit. *looks at me* Is it?
Me: Ahmmm... I'm afraid I wouldn't know. I've never been to China.
Hair Lip Chick: Oh. *bites lip* I thought that you would have, since you're, you know, Asian and all...
Me: *smile starts turning mildly forced* Well, I haven't.
Pimply Dude: *looks at the hairy one and sneers* Why would anybody want to visit China?!

He sounded as if he'd rather take a 1-way trip down the nearest toilet sewage system. I thought he already had, judging from the monster eruptions he had on that wart plantation he called a face.

I later found out that this walking zit had never even been out of Australia. His idea of taking a long trip from home was probably limited to hopping on a Qantas domestic flight and zipping from WA to NSW, so what the fuck does he know about the rest of the world?! Pfffft...

Thankfully, at this point of the conversation, the lecturer stepped in, thanked me for my introduction (What fucking introduction?! I'd barely said 3 words about myself!), and moved the topic to our semester's syllabus.

*grumpy face* And with those happy memories in my head, I'm going downstairs for a cigarette. Woe behold any Aussie who ends up in the same lift.