I log onto Friendster for the 1st time in 2 days and what do I see?
Wah Kao!
So I think "Awwwwww shucks, all my friends remembered it was my birthday and sent me nice little Friendster greetings..." (Cheapo schmucks... No money for an actual card ah? Ptui... Hahaha...) Apparently, I thought too soon.
Oh... And if you're thinking this is a pathetic attempt to show the world how popular I am on Friendster, fuck you. I don't need that sort of validation, because honey, I am popular and I know it! Hah! So why this post? It's a lead in for me to rant... Whyyyyyyyy me??? Whyyyyy, in the name of all that is good and sexy, can't I get a message from a DECENT LOOKING guy who WRITES like he studied the English language PAST K2?!From: (Name removed) --> Irritant A
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 7:24:00PM
Subject: hi
Message: hi, how r u today, i wanna friendship . if u r intrested then add me pls,(Email address removed) send me message & tell me ur id then i can add u too, i hope see u soon with regards (Irritant A)
From me: You wanna friendship? I wanna run. Regards, April.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant B
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 11:14:00 PM
Subject: hi
Message: hi
From me: To Irritant B... Bye! April.
The 1 good thing about this message? It was short.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant C
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 3:31:00 PM
Subject: HI, ARE YOU MY TYPE OF GIRL
Message: HI, Are you my type of girl?anyway nice to know you.Tell me more about yourself as I would like to know you better? what's your hobbies??? REPLY. yours (Irritant C)
From me: No. Wish I could say the same. No. None that you would understand. REPLIED. Up yours, April.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant D
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 1:14:00 PM
Subject: nothing to lose to reply to sincere pal
Message: (Long winded portion of message removed) All these are for u to find out and for me to know which is truth.Hope to hear from you soon to start our great friendship. Hopefully my message is not down the rubbish bin, rather late and no reply :). Do you have msn? regards (Irritant D)
From me: About your hopes buster? I'm sorry but yes, I trashed your message, and no, you won't be getting a reply beyond this. Regards, April.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant E
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 12:21:00 PM
Subject: hi April
Message: hi I am (Irritant E) 32 working in computer line. nice to meet you. want to know more friends. my hobby includes swimming travellingand jogging. What ur hobby? We can also chat on msn messenger. My hotmail id is (Email address removed)@hotmail.com. What ur hotmail id?
From me: Hi, I am April, 27, totally uninterested in meeting wankers like you who have crappy grammar and who probably can't spell even if a dictionary was rolled up and shoved up your ass. And no, we can't chat on MSN Messenger. Love always, April.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant F
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 11:14:00 AM
Subject: Hi Hi April
Message: HI there...nice to see you around here ...would u mind to be friends ? Hope to hear from you soon :) Cheers :)
From me: Yes actually, I would mind. Cheers, April.
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant G
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 10:47:00 AM
Subject: Hi hi
Message: hi,Lady....is there an opportunity to get to know you??Sorry to be so straight forward (Irritant G)
From me: No. Sorry to be so straightforward. April.
By the way, this message brings to mind that old Tom Jones number... You know... She's a laaaaady... Woah woah woah... She's a laaaaaaady... *does a little shimmy shake*
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant H
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 10:27:00 AM
Subject: care to be friends?
Message: hi there,i just like to widen my social circle and know more sincere ppl, care to be friends?if yes can add me at (Email address removed)@yahoo.comthanks ^_^
From me: Ahmmm... Sorry... My social circle's wide enough, thanks. April. ^_^
From: (Name removed) --> Irritant J
Date: Sunday, April 10, 2005 2:46:00 AM
Subject: hope to know u
Message: hi my name is (Irritant J) 27/m/sg/chi hope to have a chance to know more abt u can we chat online or it will be even better to chat on the phone hope to hear from u soon...
From me: Keep hoping J... Keeeeeeeep hoping. April.
For fuck's sake dude... If you're stuck with a dumb ass name like SENG CHEE, don't use it when you're on Friendster. Better yet... Have it changed the minute you turn 21. Can you imagine any girl trying to talk dirty to you with a name like that?! ("God... Seng Chee... Give it to me you STALLION!" --> Wrong laaaaaah dude!)
Then again... For that matter... I can't imagine any girl wanting to have sex with a dude named Seng Chee.
14 comments:
If I knew a guy called seng chee, I'd say bye to him all the time.
Seng chee bye!!
Good on ya April...lol
FF - Right on girlfriend! Right on!
Adrock - Somehow I knew you'd find this post amusing. Btw, I haven't received any Friendster messages from you yet! ;P
I hate the 'hi's the most. I get them all the time. It's such a zero-effort attempt. Hello, do I LOOK like I'm so sad and pathetic that your lame little 'hi' will make me foam at the mouth and run after you begging you to be my friend? Jesus. I HAVE friends. I don't NEED friends. Particularly MARRIED friends. I swear, sometimes I hate friendster.
babe...strangely i never get weird stuff like that (not that i'm complaining), perhaps u can block them by limiting the circle of people who can view your profile, at least you'll know that those who did write to you are at least friends of certain friends (less dodgy). :)
Slinky Cat - Precisely! I signed up with Friendster to get in touch with long lost friends, not to make new ones... Especially when the potential "new ones" are all fucking immature wankers who can barely spell their name right! Sheesh... There should be a way to kick these lame ass buggers OFF Friendster and BAN their pathetic asses for good, don't you think?
Yen - Sadly, it didn't help even when I limited it. And somehow, getting fucked up messages from your friends' friends' friends are even more dodgy then getting them from total strangers... Sigh!
Ehm a message!?!?!? Mmmmm...i'll write somethin silly for ya testimonial...
If i remember...
Did i just say if i remembered?
Adrock - Dementia's only suppose to start in your 40s... Alzheimer in your 50s... So I'm confident you'll remember... Big, strong, young strapping man like yourself. *coughs and grins*
April, are you flirting with Adrock? *big grin*
Oh, and did you get the link to my new blog?
OMG where did this whole 'big and strappin' thing come from? I have no recollection of my BMI and all...
Oh wait...what part of me is big and strappin?????
OMG...forget i asked that...
....
That's why I am not on Friendster. I get enough crap on Buzznet, thank you very much!!
Slinky Cat - *innocent look* Me? Hahaha... If I was flirting, you wouldn't need to ask. Plus, his girl's a nurse and they have access to all these sharp medical instruments. Eeeep! Oh and no, I didn't get the link! Where do I find it? Email me at widowpoison@yahoo.com if you don't want to post it up. :)
Adrock - HAHAHAHA... I was actually referring to your height... Seriously! Somebody told me you're pretty tall for an Asian dude. :P
JaG - I can just imagine the ruckus you'll create on Friendster. Heh...
April, I'll send it to you. And Adrock's girl is a nurse? Then forget it lah, you just can't compete with the tight white nurse outfit! : ) (unless you have one of those kinky leather dominatrix outfits...)
Pril dear... i do not believe u r busy with work... u've got so so so much time to go on friendster n bloggie! My god! its been ages since i updated mine n 1st time i found your blog site dear... *faintz* but oh well, at least u have a social life online as well~
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